Single Parents on films

Interview of a single mother (who saw one of the films about single parenting at the film festival)

Questions asked:

1. How long have you been a single parent?

2. How many kids do you have?

3. Do you work? If yes, part time or full time?

4. Do you get help from anyone to take care of you child/children?

5. Which film from the trinidad+tobago film festival that pertains to single parenting

Did you see?

6. What were your views on the film/s?

7. What in the film stood out to you as a single parent?

8. What did you like about the film the most?

9. What did you dislike about the film the most?

10. Does the film relate to your own life as a single parent in any way? If so, how?

11. After looking at the film, together with your own experience as a single parent, what advice would you offer to other single parents out there?

Answers:

Single Parent #1

1. 5 years

2. 2 kids

3. Yes I do, full time.

4. Yes my mother.

5. Pelo Malo

6. It was a really good film, glad that I got to see it, it raised a lot of issues on parenting and what children from broken homes go through.

7. What stood out to me the most in this film would have to be the way the mother in the film treated her son. As children normally do, they like to play with their mom’s hair and stuff like that, my son does it, in the movie, when the child tried to be close to his mother in any way, she would just push the child away, as if his touch burnt her or something. It was disgusting the way she treated that poor boy, all he wanted was her love and acceptance, but she deprived him of such, which led to him acting the way he did.

8. I loved how the film showed the mother’s struggle to find work and the things that she had to do to get a job, it’s a very real situation that women face on a daily basis, struggling to get a job to make ends meet.

9. Actually I didn’t dislike anything, loved the entire film, very well done.

10. Yes it relates to my life in multiple way, firstly with the struggle for single moms to find and keep jobs while trying to raise their kids at the same time. Also it’s very difficult to see about two children and work full-time, I don’t want to work full time because I wish I had more time with the kids but it’s not an option for me. I have to do what I’ve got to do because I have two growing kids to raise, so I often depend on my mother to help me takecare of them. Sometimes I think, without her help, I really don’t know how I would cope. Single parenting is really not an easy task.

11. The advise that I would offer to single parents is that all children need is love, don’t substitute love with anything else, nothing will ever do the job as love would. I know it’s hard to find time in such a busy schedule but you have to make time for the kids, show them that you’re there, even if they may not see you for most of the day, make some time, somewhere in the day to show them that you are there for them, there to listen about how their day was, what they liked, what they disliked, things like that. It’s really important that you do as it affects the child more than you could possibly imagine.

 Guest Post By Stephanie Rattan

I am beginning to shut down I honestly believe that I am doing too much, but I need to complete my tasks for school and I need to do what is necessary to ensure that my little girl has all that she need and that she does not feel left out.

 

I am almost there with my internship I am so exhausted that I fell asleep a bit yesterday while completing a project for a client. I did what I was supposed to do and completed my work but I know that it reflects poorly on me in terms of that.

 

Working in the night is also taking as toll on me I caught myself sleeping while standing up do not know how I did it but I did. I believe that is truly much for me, I know that as soon as I have completed my internship and I am able to work in the day once more then I would be fine.

 

There are times when I haven’t slept in days because when I pick my daughter up from school my job as a mother begins so it is always from one to the next. Cooking, assisting with homework and of course giving her a little attention for her to express herself. I have reduced energy but I am not giving up.

Respect

Recent experience, I took my daughter to the movies and saw a little boy running up and down I gave my daughter a candy to give to him, “did not want his parents to think I was creepy” his brother came up to me and scream at me “I want one now” so I told him I do not have anymore he proceeds to tell me “there is more in there” pointing to my daughters purse I was so upset I did not know what to do.

 

Today I would like to touch on the topic of discipline of our children, I once heard saying “we need to raise our children for the world not ourselves”. I have single parents friends who I believe are raising monsters.

 

One friend in particular her second born which is a girl has to me and anyone who knows her no discipline. No one can speak to her and she believes that she rules the world and is very selfish and boldface.

Anytime she is spoken to she tells her mother who is then upset that you spoke to her child about her misbehavior, I began to refrain from speaking to the child and so has everyone else that I know and to the best of my knowledge she now has no friend as no one would tolerate having the little girl around.

 

I feel very bad for her because she is a single mother of two who has had a hard life but anytime someone tries to correct the child she says “this is monster and I am sure because she is fem in her beliefs that no one would be able to take advantage of her”.   

Please people let us refrain from spoiling our children so much that they become little monsters. Please, thank you and old mother may I still exists in my world. I believe in disciple and respect for our elders. Let us begin to raise our children for the world and not ourselves.

 

About last week

I am so upset that people send their children to school sick. My daughter just started school and had to stay away because someone sent their child to school ill and she got ill as well. Even though the teacher sent a not home with all the parents telling them to keep sick children home they still send them totally ignoring the fact that they could get other children sick.

When things go bad they go bad fast and all at once. Last week was not a good one for me as I was sick and so was my daughter. I had the Chicungunia and she had the the virus. It is truly tough in these times, because it is just the both of us. Her being sick really had I down I hate seeing her in pain or on that level. She had a nagging fever that kept me up all night replacing the damp cloth to prevent the fever from causing and internal damage and she would not eat either so now she has lost weight.

 

I prayed that I could be sick that she would not have to be, it happened while at work I began to feel as though I was drained and could not hold myself up by the time I got to her Godmothers house to get her I could not move. Children are so beautiful and such a blessing from god her Godmother told her I was sick. When I got up she was right next to me stroking my face and telling me to sleep “do not get up mummy I am taking care of you, you need to get better” it warmer my heart.