Not everyone is cut from the same cloth
but that does not say that you have to succumb to what society says your cloth
is. You can change your lifestyle and what would normally be the norm in your
society beginning with yourself. Here is my story!
Growing up in a Single Parent home, I
did not understand what it meant. I did not know what a father was, or that
kids had one of those. (Laughs) I remember in primary school around father’s
day we would have to make cards, my card would always go to my mother without
further thought. I respect my mother’s choice back then to not talk about my
father due to the harsh situation that involved the relationship between him
and my mother and not wanting to be a part of my life then. She saved me a lot
of stress and heart ache from a dad that would never care about me.
Being a product of a Single parent home,
as I look back meant that we had struggles for money and necessities. My mother
placed her life on hold and ensured that I was brought up with dignity and respect
in my community. I remember days when we did not have enough to go by and she
would feed my and remain undone. When I went to school, or anywhere nobody
would have a clue that we did not have enough, because she would always have me
neat and well put together. I can never disrespect her or not love her
unconditionally for the undying love she bestowed towards me being our sole
provider.
My father, or as I often refer to him
now “sperm donor” showed up on our door step for the first time in my life at
fifteen years of age. My step-sister grandfather had died and he used the
opportunity to come back to Trinidad on visit. He resided and still resides in
Brooklyn, New York. I was speechless when I saw him and ran away in shock
because he was the splitting image of me in a male form, and although I never
physically saw him I knew who he was. I
hid for about an hour and realized that my nightmare was real because he sat
like nobody’s business chatting with my aunt. I came out and he acted like he
was the best man since whenever, I was always a no bullshit type of kid so I
read through him, he waited for my mother to come home and asked her for me to
come meet my step-sister at the wake. After he left Trinidad, I am now
twenty-five and I am yet to see him again. We do not have a cordially
relationship because he cannot accept his wrongs, apologize and now that I am
an adult move forward. I will not stand for anyone disrespecting my mother to
make them look good.
My mother continued to struggle as being
the sole provider for us. She would always tell me, “with an education, nobody can
ever take it away from you, and our only way out of this poverty is with an
education.” That motto transcended in me, although whilst I was younger I did
not quite understand it and rebelled a bit; I never made her shame and always
vowed to make her proud. She is my rock
and my role model because whilst taking care of me she still did her CXC
O’level subjects on the side and got a job proper job as a Supplemental Police.
If was not for her strength, and her ability to fight against the odds, and
stand for what was right, I could have been a victim of my environment. I could
have been what society expected, maybe with a teenage pregnancy, illiteracy or
being dependant on a man or society.
Many people have stigma against children
growing up in single parent homes, and believe that they cannot do as great as
those growing up with both parents. But once the parent has that drive like my
college Olivia Andrews to make a difference in your generation and ensure that
cycle does not repeat itself, I know it would be a better tomorrow. I see women
who are in these situations as phenomenal beings, because it takes greater
strength and spirituality to rise above.
Bless
https://www.facebook.com/IamLifestyleKhrys
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